I’m excited to move to a new place, not so excited about what all is involved with moving. I have to work during the day, and come home and pack and clean at night. It shouldn’t be too hard. I’ve got a U-Haul reservation for the day we’re moving, and we’re either getting a 14′ or a 17′ truck, depending on what’s available.
It’s been good lately, but I am still going through some tough moments when I think about my dad. I wear his wedding band on my necklace around my neck. His hand-me-down dress slacks I now wear with pride. I have the program from the memorial service on my shelf. It still seems so surreal that he’s gone.
Tonight Brandy, a friend of mine, dropped by the house to drop off my external hard drive, and she noticed flowers by the window in the kitchen. “You have flowers,” she said. “Why do you have flowers?” I explained to her that I had Mom make Kylara a bouquet of flowers from all of the flowers sent to my dad’s funeral.
Money is tight, but I got two side jobs in the last 48 hours working on different people’s computers. I made $70 yesterday, and will probably make about $105 on the next one because it took more time. If I could get enough customers to do this full-time, I think I would. In fact, between money from the sponsors from this blog and 30-40 hours of working on computers as an entrepreneur every week, and I could scratch out a really good living. One can dream. I think Dad would be proud.
Kylara said I’m allowed to just coast right now, that no one is expecting a lot out of me during this time while I grieve, and that my friends won’t expect me to work at our friendships, and all I have to do is be me. Those words are comforting, I’m just having a hard time getting my mind to grasp hold of it and relax and deal instead of panicking and planning.
Lately there seems to be a pattern at work of things malfunctioning. I think it might be related to the recent upgrade to one of the main servers, called a directory server, to the latest version. It seems to be causing some hiccups in other main systems. Users don’t know the difference, they only see it as “my e-mail doesn’t work” or more generically “Oh, the server must be down.” I know there’s no particular person to fault for these problems, these are the nature of our business, and we learn from how things could be better handled in the future.