I’m Freakin’ Nostradamas Over Here

 In Daily Life, Lifestyle, My Life

So, a little while ago I posted about how it might be okay if and when my mom started to date again, and lo and behold, she’s going on a date on Friday night. That’s so weird to say. I called her up because I was suspicious based on her Facebook status messages, and this guy (we’ll call him “Chris” for anonymity’s sake) left her some messages on her Facebook wall. They went to high school together, and he recently had the gastric bypass surgery just like my mom did last year. He called her “Good Lookin!” on one of his messages to her on her Facebook wall. I figured something was going on, so I called.

Mom said that she had a date on Friday, and she told me that they had been talking on the phone and chatting online and all that nonsense. I told her he better treat her nice or I’ll cut something off, depending on how much he needed to suffer. I also warned her not to put out on the first date, and to carry some mace or pepper-spray with her.

She was all “but I knew him from high school,” and I said “Yeah, and that was years ago. Plenty of time for someone to become a complete creep or a psycho killer.” But she asked if she had my blessing. I said “Not really, no, but I’ll probably be okay with it. Have fun.” Told her I loved her and then we hung up.

My mom’s going on a date. With some guy. My dad is dead. He’d want her to be happy. It just brings back memories of all the times Dad got mad at her because he was jealous of one of her guy friends talking to her. He swore up and down she was cheating on him, but to my knowledge he was just being crazy. Ah, Dad. I miss him. I hope my mom stays happy, and I hope she doesn’t get hurt. Otherwise I’m going to have to curb-stomp someone, and I really was hoping to make it through life without a criminal record.

Apparently my sister wasn’t okay with all of this at first, but Mom says she’s coming around. I’m not kidding, I swear to everything holy that if something bad happens to her, I’m driving the five hours home to make sure Mom is okay, and then driving the hour and 45 minutes to this guy and hunting him down and torturing him Guantanamo-style before throwing him in my trunk and dumping him in a field. Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned………’s son.

Hi, I'm Zöe. Thanks for reading! If you enjoyed this, please feel free to leave a comment below.
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