Hey, How’s Your Colon?

You probably don’t have anyone in your life that will randomly just ask you how your colon is doing. So I’m doing it for you. How’s your colon? I really don’t want to know the answer – but especially younger people who are not willing to admit they’re becoming grown-ups may overlook this important part of their bodies.

There’s a few things I’d like to say about your colon. First of all, think about your colon when you go to eat things. I feel like the boss from Office Space when I say “With everything you do, think Is this good for my colon?” I mean honestly folks. You know what you can and can’t eat. Don’t go “I’m going to be bad and go have Mexican food,” when you know it makes you feel like dying.

Secondly, don’t put things where they don’t belong. I’m sorry to be both vague and kind of graphic in my insinuation, but you know – there are people out there with weird fetishes and experimentations. If you do participate in this kind of weirdness, at least go get checked out by a doctor more often than your non-deviant counterparts.

Thirdly, you have to clean your colon. No lie. I mean, think about it – all your feces comes out this way, you should clean it from time to time with a good Colon Cleanse. And as I just got through saying, don’t put things where they don’t belong. So how do you clean it if you shouldn’t put things up there? Easy, flush something down it that does the cleaning for you. One such product is called Oxy-Powder, an Oxygen Colon cleansing product.

Yeah, I know all that was uneasy, but if you can’t learn about taking care of your colon from your favorite technology blog author, who ARE you going to learn about it from? I mean, geez.