The Real Thanksgiving
When the “White Man” came to America, he brought the Native Americans more than just small pox.
He brought with him his poor, oppressed people seeking religious freedom and they all oppressed the indians and made them join the church of England. Go figure.
The pilgrims mostly died off during the first Thanksgiving. They froze, and they starved, and they got sick, and they got attacked by indians. And they probably didn’t smell very nice.
But then there was Wilbur. Wilbur was the first Native American/White Man baby. No one knows how this child came to be, but it probably had something to do with the two races of people being in close quarters, the storks thought they were happy together and brought them a little “harmony present.”
But Wilbur wasn’t welcomed by all. Oh no, he had a hard time, because the Native American children wouldn’t play with him. They feared he’d take their land and make them work in Casinos. The white children wouldn’t play with him either, they figured they’d give him small pox and he’d die. So Wilbur was left all alone. Even the livestock wouldn’t play with him.
Wilbur met an old man by the name of Timothy Berton. Timothy said, “Banking and finance are where it’s at my boy. Forget family, friends, and all that other foolish nonsense those fools are thankful for. Spend time with me, and I’ll teach you arithmetics and finance. You’ll be richer than you can imagine one day, and you’ll be able to buy all the friends you want.”
When Wilbur was 35, he was indeed rich. He had a large house, many servants, but overall felt very lonely. He knew how to do Mortgage Refinancing, but couldn’t dance, couldn’t sing. He could foreclose on a house, but couldn’t secure a wife. No children, no friends. What would Wilbur do? Even the old man caught a cold and left him too.
So Wilbur paid one of his servants to befriend him some friends, but that didn’t work either. No one liked Wilbur, so they didn’t like his servants either. Wilbur bought a local tavern, started working there himself. He served the drinks – which scared the customers away at first. Then one by one they all started coming back. He had learned to cook the best of both worlds, so he made new dishes – part White Man, part Native recipes.
The new food was a raging success, and brought in customers from all respects. Wilbur had indeed brought fortune and fame, and brought a bit of a reputation to his name. As the usual customers greeted him on the way in and on the way out, his heart warmed and he smiled again. Wilbur was thankful.